Top Money Arguments Couples Have and How to Stop

Facing money problems for couples is not unknown territory. Chances are, if you and your partner are like most couples, money can often be a touchy subject. Unfortunately, studies have proven that fights about finances are able to predict divorce rates. The scary thing is, these arguments can begin even before you and your partner get hitched. Today, we’ve got a few tips to help you avoid and/or resolve these challenges.

Problem #1: Differences in Spending Habits

One of the most common financial issues that a couple may face is how they are going to manage spending. More often than not, one partner gets labeled the “spender” and the other one the “saver,” but labels are never beneficial for a relationship and can lead to tension. When one person takes care of the grocery shopping, bills, and ensuring that the family and home needs are met, and the other spends their money on frivolities, one can see how frustration can easily boil over into arguments. The key to avoiding an argument is to side-step any surprises. A budget will assist in planning out monthly spending so that both parties know how much money is necessary for bills and other living expenses. This will help “the spender” to understand that they are possibly spending too much money on unnecessary things. Creating a budget together is a great way to improve communication and get closer as a couple, as well.

Problem #2: Past Debts

Most people come to the altar with some kind of financial baggage, whether it’s school loans, credit card debt, car loans, or even alimony and child support if this is a second marriage. If you are entering into a relationship and you have a lot of financial strife, it can sometimes feel like you’re dragging your partner down, but it’s important to remember that no one is perfect. Dealing with debt as a couple can actually strengthen a relationship, and in fact, by working together, you can reduce the debt more quickly. Again, working out a plan to pay down your past debt together (even if the debt is one-sided) will increase feelings of being on the same team.

Problem #3: Separate or Joint Accounts?

Should you have separate account for personal expenses and a joint account for household expenses or two totally separate accounts? From which account will you draw money to take care of your children? These are just two examples of the many questions couples frequently find themselves asking when determining how to best merge finances. Many times, this argument can leave one person feeling hurt because they feel that their partner doesn’t trust them enough to share a bank account together. The desire for separate accounts does not indicate that your partner doesn’t want to be close to you. In fact, it can be a good idea to keep separate accounts for many couples. Finding what works for you and your spouse will take time and some “from the heart” conversations. Whether you create a joint account or continue to maintain your own bank accounts, approach this subject with love and care, so as to avoid unintentionally hurting your loved one.

Solution: Good Communication

As we all know, good communication is the key to any successful relationship – romantic or otherwise. In order to navigate the maze of marital finances (spending habits, debt, bank accounts and more) – you need to come together as one. Approach financial conversations with an open mind, while being cognizant and respectful of your partner’s personality and opinions. If at all possible, discuss your ideas about finances when you are still dating. It never hurts to get the ball rolling as soon as possible on a topic as loaded as this one. The sooner you begin to get comfortable talking about money, the better off you’ll be – long after you say “I do.”

 

 

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3rd Annual Leadership Summit – Monmouth County, NJ

Dear Bankruptcy,

Dear Bankruptcy,

As a follow-up to my previous correspondence with you several months ago, I write you now only to keep you apprised of the situation. I want you to know that I am not deliberately trying to hurt your feelings, but I feel it is my duty as one of your staunchest supporters to let you know the truth.

In an attempt to squelch the initial rumors I shared with you, I have worked tirelessly educating the masses regarding the misinformation that was swirling around. While I strongly believe that those who I am able to work with directly are now getting the right message about you, I have to tell you that through word of mouth I have heard that someone is still spreading rumors about you.

My intention here is to clear the air, as I will post this letter publicly in the hopes of putting a stop to what is being said behind your back. Please feel free to do the same on your end so that we can get the correct information in front of as many people as possible.

Ok, I’ll just dive into the details, then. Here goes.

(Deep breath, because these may hurt a little)

I think I told you this already, but I’ve recently opened a second office in New Jersey. Bankruptcy help is one of the main services I provide at both offices. As I’ve moved into a new location, I’ve heard some real head-shakers about you. You would never tell someone they can never get a credit card again, right? RIGHT! I mean, obviously, those who need your help will have to reel in their credit card use until you help right their financials, but I have been telling everyone who asks: YES YOU CAN GET A CREDIT CARD AFTER BANKRUPTCY comes into your life.

A friend of a friend came to me (claiming to be “asking for a friend,” sigh) with this question: Will everyone know if I’m involved with Bankruptcy? Again, I am incredulous that there is still such fear at the mere mention of your name. Times have changed, Man! Bankruptcy doesn’t post a public announcement or install a blinking red light in front of your home. However, as I’ve previously been preaching: Needing Bankruptcy’s help is nothing to be ashamed of.

“But we wanted to own a home one day” – I heard this last week from a husband and wife who approached me in town. As challenging as it may be, I continue working to convince people everywhere that an encounter with you is not a life sentence. After all, you aren’t out to attack or harm anyone; you’re here to help.

Even though you and I know that times have changed, it is apparent to me now that I still have more work to do in defending your honor. You have my word that I will continue in earnest to defeat any and all Bankruptcy myths that I encounter. You and I are in this together, friend.

A Letter to Bankruptcy

Dear Bankruptcy,

Oh how thee have gotten such a bad rap over the years. It’s a shame because of all the good you can do! I know it must hurt your feelings when people believe myths about you that simply aren’t true.

I recently heard the most incredulous Bankruptcy myth: that you don’t even exist anymore! Just because a few more rules have been put into place so people don’t abuse you does not eradicate your existence. Bankruptcy, I know you are real, and I know that you just want to help people.

This next one you might not have even heard yet. Did you know that some people are spreading rumors about me, too? It has been said that “consulting with me (or another one of the law people) about you means we can force bankruptcy upon them.” Haha, seriously! As Bankruptcy law helpers, we are exactly that – helpers. Not to mention, it would be illegal for any of us to force anyone to do anything against their will.

Now – I’ve only heard this rumor from a friend of a friend, but I believe it went something like, “The Jones’s can’t ask for help from Bankruptcy because they still pay all of their bills on time.” I did try to explain that your help is available even before people dig themselves into a hole, but I’m not sure my friend believed me.

Please don’t get offended, Bankruptcy, but there are a few things being said about you that, while they aren’t exactly 100% true – they do hold some merit. I guess I’d say these are more like pieces of misinformation than myths. For example: “Making too much money prevents someone from calling upon you for help.” Obviously, it’s not a person’s income alone that determines how badly they need you, Bankruptcy. I’ll be the one to say it: Means Test!!

Brace yourself, because this one may sting a little. I know you’d never do this, but apparently it’s been said that you can destroy people. I mean, as if! Now, I acquiesce that you are indeed one powerful fellow, and naturally you do pack a bit of a punch when you do your thing, but “destroying” someone has never been your M.O. You hang around for what, 7-10 years, but in name only, right? What about all of the good things you do for people, like taking care of everyone they owe money to and stopping foreclosure single-handedly?

Bankruptcy, I know your intentions are good. You are a superhero in my eyes! Don’t fret about the bad press; I’m working hard every day to set people straight, one rumor at a time.

Sincerely,

George

 

 

 

Practicing Bankruptcy Law: “Isn’t it Depressing?”

I frequently get asked why I decided to go in to bankruptcy law. Most of the time, the person asking the question does so with a perplexed facial expression and concerned body language.

“Isn’t it depressing?” they ask.

The truth about why I got into bankruptcy law is actually quite simple. To be completely honest, when I first graduated from law school, I worked on the other side of the equation for a debt collection law firm. Not to say that lenders and creditors don’t need and deserve quality representation, but it just wasn’t for me. I saw the debtors who were struggling and I felt drawn to wanting to help them. I knew that I could help them, but I needed to figure out the best way to do that.

In 2010, I took the leap and opened Veitengruber Law. We started out as a very small solo practitioner firm, but I knew from the very beginning that we would do great things for many people. I put together the very best team to work with me: a bankruptcy specialist paralegal, a foreclosure specialist paralegal, a marketing specialist, and the most qualified legal assistant I could find.

Since the year of our inception, we have not looked back. I knew instantly that making the move to own my own firm was the right decision. Every year the firm grows exponentially. I have put no less than my entire heart, soul, blood, sweat and tears into moulding Veitengruber Law into the kind of bankruptcy law practice that has a reputation for helping people.

To circle back to the original question that was posed at the opening of this post: “Isn’t bankruptcy law depressing?” The general consensus is that I must be crazy to want to spend all day every day with those less fortunate, or those who have made some poor financial choices.

The answer to that question is quite simple, actually. My “job” as a NJ bankruptcy attorney is hands-down the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. You’ll often find me still working at 9pm – and happy about it! The bottom line: I’ve discovered that helping people is what I was destined to do, and I don’t say that boastfully. Showing my clients (who quickly become friends) that there is a light at the end of what they thought was a never-ending tunnel of debt makes all of my efforts worthwhile.

Upon first meeting me, my clients are almost always in emotional distress. They are almost never happy about filing for bankruptcy, and many of them have a very negative attitude:

“I don’t want to be here.”

“I can’t believe I’m really doing this.”

As we begin to talk and I make them aware of what bankruptcy can actually do for them, every single person visibly relaxes. It’s as if I have physically removed a 25 pound weight from around their shoulders. Smiles start to peek out, they begin to make more eye contact with me, and sighs of relief abound. Sometimes, tears spring from their eyes, taking them by surprise – simply because they are tears of joy.

Tell me, what could be more fulfilling than that?